Are All Men Jerks?

(MediaQuire)  Not by a long shot, says Daylle Deanna Schwartz in her groundbreaking book, All Men Are Jerks – Until Proven Otherwise, 15th Anniversary Edition (F+W/Adams Media, March 2013).  She believes that one woman’s jerk can be another woman’s treasure—IF she stays in control of herself from the beginning. She explains:

“Too often women get sucked in by romantic words and gestures and don’t wait to see if he’s for real before getting carried away. Before knowing if he’s for real, they trade common sense for momentarily getting emotional needs met. Saying “All men (and women) are jerks until proven otherwise” is a reminder to slow down and make a guy earn your trust over time, with actions and follow-through on his words and not take him seriously yet. When you forgive inexcusable behavior because he brought flowers or said something loving, who’s the real jerk?”

Since 1998, tens of thousands of women have credited the book for finally teaching them how to take charge of themselves in a relationship. The book doesn’t teach how to find and keep a man. Plenty of other books have that. It instead encourages women to develop a relationship with themselves, and explains how to take responsibility for how men treat them.

Men love the book too, once they get past the title, because Schwartz encourages women to stop trying to make rules about relationships and change men into their prince charming.  Men have the right to be who they are, communicate the way they want, and that they may not want to get married after the first date. That said, when a woman changes her own behavior and responses to things she doesn’t like, without nagging, whining or complaining, guys may change on their own, if he likes her.

Many men have the potential to be jerks, but only if you let them. Women allow poor behavior by tolerating it, hoping he’ll change. But if a guy really likes you, he can be taught how to behave appropriately, as long as you’re not too demanding and your expectations are realistic. This updated edition of All Men Are Jerks – Until Proven Otherwise makes your own happiness your first priority. Women can learn how to take control of how men treat them–and get the love they deserve!

More about the book:

For its 15th Anniversary edition, Schwartz added new material, including a chapter about Jerks Online. The Internet is a breeding ground for taking advantage of women. Schwartz wants women to understand how to protect themselves against being manipulated.

Over the past 15 years, the book was translated into 15 languages, including Farsi. In 2002 it was banned in Iran. The translator emailed Schwartz about how the book changed her life, and they’re still in touch.

About the Author: Daylle Deanna Schwartz, MS (NEW YORK), is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, bestselling author, and founder of The Self-Love Movement™. She’s been on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, The Howard Stern Show, and Good Morning America, and quoted in dozens of publications, including Cosmopolitan, The New York Times, Redbook, Marie Claire. Visit her website at

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